Recharged by Relationships: Why Connection is Essential in Parenting

By Roy Eiermann

We’ve learned a lot in the last 5 years about how critical our social connections are to our wellbeing. COVID showed us how isolation and loneliness can deeply impact our mental health. For foster and adoptive parents, the demands of our families, and especially the unique needs of our kids, can often lead to avoidance and increased social isolation.

Even when we do connect with others, it can feel awkward. What do we talk about? In my world, there are friends and family who just don’t understand the needs of my kids or the behaviors I accept as normal. Sometimes, it’s easier to just stay home and avoid the explanations altogether.

I say this to completely empathize with what you might be thinking. Making time to be social and finding people who truly understand our world feels impossible sometimes. But even when staying home seems easier, I want to gently remind you: connection matters!

As with my other blogs, I’m not just going to say “get out there and do it.” That won’t work. You need a strategy. And we’re bound to feel frustrated if we keep leaning into relationships that don’t understand what it’s like to parent through trauma, unpredictability, and emotional intensity.

So, where to begin?

First and foremost, every change starts with tiny baby steps. Don’t overwhelm yourself. The first step? Evaluate who in your life refills and recharges you. Who leaves you energized and uplifted? Who makes you say, “I’m so glad we got together”?

These are the people you want more time with.

But what if you don’t have anyone like that nearby or at all? Then this becomes a slow-building process. One that’s worth every minute. Let me explain with a personal story.

In early 2020, just before COVID hit, I was struggling emotionally. A friend invited me to his men’s group. When I finally joined, the group was meeting virtually. I didn’t know anyone except my friend, but I felt welcomed. The group met weekly, and even though we weren’t in person for the first couple of years, it became a space where I felt energized and supported.

Eventually, I began connecting with some of the men outside the group. Friendships grew slowly – very slowly – but they grew. By 2024 and now into 2025, I’ve developed deep life-giving relationships with several of these men. They recharge and refuel me in ways I didn’t know I needed.

My point? It took four years. It was slow and imperfect. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. These relationships make me a better man and a better father.

So, here’s my challenge: If you’re finding yourself with few (or no) people who recharge you, that’s okay. If you want to change that, it may take time. But believe me, it’s worth it! It’s an absolute game changer.

Start small. Look for a hobby group, a local interest club, affinity group, Empowered Family Connection Group or some other commonality you might share with others that could give you a basis for developing friendships. Join something that feels manageable and low-pressure. It gives you a starting point and a reason to talk, to connect, and maybe to build something more.

Be persistent. Make time. This isn’t extra. It’s part of showing up as the best parent you can be.

And if you have a partner? Please don’t overlook your relationship. Regular date nights are essential for staying strong as a couple, especially when parenting through trauma. I know time, money, and energy are limited. This is often why this gets cut first when space is tight. I urge you: don’t let this happen. Your connection matters. It helps you both to parent better.

Let’s be honest: relationships that refill us are not a luxury, they are a necessity. Our kids, especially those coming from hard places, need us to be grounded, emotionally available, and resilient. That kind of presence doesn’t happen in isolation.

It grows through connection.

Whether you choose to create or restore connections, start somewhere. Start small. But please, start. Because the best version of you isn’t created alone.

Expert Author Biography: Roy Eiermann is a licensed clinical professional counselor in the state of Illinois and clinical director at OMNI Youth Services. He specializes in child and adolescent therapy, trauma-informed treatment, and substance abuse services. He can be reached through his website: https://meetmonarch.com/therapist/roy-eiermann-lcpc-hoffman-estates-il