Sleep

You are getting sleepy. Very sleepy. (Don’t worry. I’m not hypnotizing you!) Just describing how I used to feel every single day. Sound familiar?

Sleep is crucial for us to show up as our best, for ourselves and our families.  I used to pride myself on surviving with little sleep. But eventually, I hit a wall. Now, I build my schedule around sleep, not the other way around.  The difference has been transformative.

For me, 8 hours is ideal. It allows me to manage disappointments, frustrations, unexpected demands, and stress in a much healthier way.  (I’m guessing you might be like me and have a lot of these things hit you throughout the day!)  When I get my full 8 hours, I’m more patient and playful with my kids, even when they’re rude or unresponsive. I can respond calmly instead of reacting. And things just roll off my back more easily.

So let’s focus on the how.  Because let’s be honest, if it was easy to do it, we would all be doing it!  Creating change is best when you start small.  So if you find yourself getting less than the ideal amount of sleep, I suggest you start with a tiny change.  What if starting tomorrow you started your sleep routine 5 minutes earlier?  If 5 minutes feels too big, do 3 minutes.  If that’s too big, do 1 minute!  The point is to start and build that momentum.  

So let me unpack this a bit because you have options.  Let’s say you start getting ready for bed at 11pm.  It takes ten minutes to brush teeth and everything else you might do in the bathroom.  You climb into your bed and play on your phone for 30 minutes.  Or read for 30 minutes.  Or watch TV for 30 minutes. Great.  Then you power down the phone, close the book, or shut off the TV at 11:40pm.  And you’re off to sleep.  My suggestion is that you start getting ready for bed at 10:55pm.  You still get your 30 minutes in bed but things are shut off at 11:35pm.  Now you’re off to sleep 5 minutes earlier.  

That’s the first step.  Once you master 5 minutes, increase it to 10.  Master that, move the needle to 15.  You get the idea.  It’s how you start building a routine that lasts.  It might feel uncomfortable at first, so focus on your why. Write it down, keep it visible, and let it remind you of what matters most when motivation fades. 

Now, I can’t write a blog on sleep without addressing electronics.  Because many of us struggle to fall asleep or to stay asleep at night, right?  So what I’m about to suggest is not foolproof.  It may not work for everyone.  But they are steps that can aid in both falling and remaining asleep throughout the night.

First – Certain foods can help, like herbal teas or tart cherry juice, while caffeine and sugar late in the day can hurt. Try experimenting and see what helps you.

There are plenty of resources out there regarding different foods to increase and decrease near bedtime.  Start experimenting and see what works for you.

Second – Create a calming wind-down routine an hour before bed: dim lights, unplug from screens if you can, or use blue light filters. Lighting a candle or sitting next to a fire promotes a sense of coziness that helps relax the body and mind. Reading, journaling, a warm bath, and light stretching can also help ease your body into rest. 

Again, be playful with this.  It will be sustainable to start with one thing, add it to your routine, and stick to it so it becomes a habit.  Once it’s locked in, add something else.  These are slow, gradual steps that help promote sleep.  Nothing will be a miracle cure.  But As you take care of yourself, you will show up better all around and for your family.  

You’re doing the work of showing up for kids who need you.  Sleep isn’t a luxury.  It truly is your lifeline to being at your best.  Getting more rest won’t fix everything but it will give you more capacity to be patient, responsive, and fully present.  Remember: start small! Take it one step at a time and you’ll build the routines that will help you rest well and love well.  You deserve that.  And your kids? They’ll feel the difference!

Expert Author Biography: Roy Eiermann is a licensed clinical professional counselor in the state of Illinois and clinical director at OMNI Youth Services.  He specializes in child and adolescent therapy, trauma-informed treatment, and substance abuse services.  He can be reached through his website:  https://meetmonarch.com/therapist/roy-eiermann-lcpc-hoffman-estates-il

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